Happy Valentines day

Just wanted to say Happy Valentines day. I plan on spending it with 2 of the most special little men in my life, Harry and Ethan, at least they love me unconditionally. tomorrow i plan on getting discounted chocolate and sweet tarts, yummy.

finaIIy updating

Sorry it's taken me so long to update. life has been pretty crazy around here lately.

Harry: he's been going through a lot of things lately. He's been in speech therapy since November and we have found out that he has sensory issues with eating and hearing which explains why it's so hard to get him to eat. It has also been mentioned that Harry is showing signs of Autism. So he has a evaluation on March 1st. They come to the house which is nice. Harry will also be having a evaluation for OT on Feb 17th and he's seeing his pedi and ent on the 15th. It saddens me to see my baby so frustrated . He's been doing some head banging so he now has a helmet which seems to be helping.

Ethan: he's growing like a weed. I can't believe he's going to be 7 months soon. wow has time gone by so fast. He's starting to try and crawl and is babbling more each day. he thinks his brother is funny and laughs at him hysterically. so funny to hear, too.

Other: Mittens is our newest family member. he's a good kitty to. the boys love him and he follows harry around and plays with Ethan on the floor.

Bobby and i are talking and trying to work things out or see if theres even a chance of working things out. we are taking it very slow and it may be several more months before we even move back in with each other.

so i hope you are all doing good. going to post some pics soon as well.

hello all i'm back

forgot to update that i was back on here. i should really do a update but can't right now. i will update on whats been going on in our life soon.

update

life sure is a mess right now. Bobby is being a butt and it looks like our marriage is over with. it's not what i want but it's what he wants. he is super angry at me for leaving and taking the boys but i did what i had to do for me and my babies. i will not be made to feel guilty for that,. i did nothing wrong. he has not seen his boys in 3 weeks but thats not my fault. all i asked was that it be supervised for a few visits and he refussed to do it that way so he has not seen or talked to them. i am going to speak with a lawyer tomorrow and i may have to let him have harry unsupervised even if i don't want it. the boys have finally settled down and adjusted to there new home . we are still at my moms until rental assistance comes through which i hope is soon. i never thought my life would turn out this way. he said he would love me forever and i guess forever is not as long as i thought. it will be our 4 year anniversery this Thursday. i guess marriage means nothing to him. i know i was the one to leave but devorce is not what i wanted only a temperary seperation until we could work things out. oh well i guess lifes that way sometimes.

changes

today is going to be a huge change for the boys and mommy as we move out on our own. we are going to stay with my mom and then hopefully will have a place of our own soon. it's scary to go from a family of 4 to a family of 3 but i know that i am a strong person and can handle this. Plus i have lots of support from friends and family. I'm not so much worried about me but the boys and how they will adjust to not having daddy around. I am hoping they are young enough to not really notice to much, well at least i know Ethan is young enough. So i will be MIA for a while but will update when i am able to. so wish me luck and send tons prayers my way for a safe transition. Rena

i had to do it

i had to spank Harry this morning. I was in the kitchen and he was in the living room. Ethan was in his swing sleeping. I here Ethan screaming and when i walk around the corner from the kitchen Harry is on top of Ethan and Ethan's head is pushed forward. I snatched him off of Ethan and gave him 3 swats on the butt, put him on the couch and picked up Ethan to make sure he was ok. Once i was sure he was ok i went back to Harry and told him mommy love's him but he can not do that. He needs to be gentle with Ethan. I'm not sure what he understands but he can't do that. He hasn't messed with him since we first brought Ethan home. I felt like a bad mommy but i don't know how else to get him to stop. I don't like spanking but what other chooses do i have. any one reading this who has a suggestion i'd appreciate it greatly. I did take Harry to McDonald's and to the park thinking that maybe he was feeling neglected by me. I had to bring Ethan with but I don't think Harry minded since he had mommy. I guess thats the end of this post. thanks for reading. Rena

can i just say

I LOVE being a mom. I feel so needed and loved, by my boys at least. I strive every day to let them know and to show them that i love them with all my heart.