spring has sprung

the boys are so enjoying the outdoors. it is so cute to see Ethan stomping down the drive way with Bobby running after him. I can't wait for this weeks weather. It is supposed to be in the 50's and 60's this week. Harry only school one time this week but my  new classes start tomorrow and I have one final paper to finish by tonight. We all have spring fever and can't wait for all the snow to melt.

So stinking proud

Harry has been in school since October and to say it has been easy would be a lie. We have had several med changes and this not only affected home life but life at school to. I am happy to say though that we found the correct med and we have been tweaking the dose when need be. In preparation for a trip to Marshfield for a med check and speech/ot eval Harry's teacher emailed me his progress report and I wanted to share it with all who want to read.

HARRY DYE PROGRESS REPORT MARCH 2012

*Harry walks into the classroom by himself. Mom no longer needs to hold him by the hand or carry him.

*He will say hi & bye appropriately in imitation. Harry doesn’t generally play with anyone or with toys in general for more than 1-2 minutes. He did sit at circle with the kids for approximately 20 seconds one day. He initiated this himself. Harry will go and play in the sensory table when the other kids are playing there for 2-3 minutes!

*PECS—he is able to choose from a choice of 3 and with a little help or no help gives the icon to the aide to get his choice. He spends at least one minute with each activity (visual timer set). On one occasion he took the pudding icon out of the all done pocket and gave it to the aide to get pudding. He did this all on his own! He knows where the pudding is kept and he will also go and get it on his own!

*Harry loves to color, sound books, books in general, sound toys, bubbles, sensory table, Lily Doll and the Smartboard. He will draw on the board for 5-10 minutes. The Smartboard is also being introduced in Phy. Ed. and he is very attentive for 5 min. or more. He will also try to move with the music.

*He is aware of the other kids and he becomes upset if the other kids leave for music class. He cries and looks through the door looking for them. He can be redirected after a minute or two with bubbles or the Smartboard.

*Harry is following simple one-step directions related to the routine. He has a visual schedule and he takes off the icon and puts it in the all done pocket when directed. He will walk in the hallway in the direction you want him to go without needing a lot of physical direction.

*Imitates more words than ever!! Ex. “Let’s go!” The aide sings “Old McDonald Had A Farm” when Harry is taken to the bathroom and she indicates that he is singing the song with her. The words are not exact but she knows what he is singing. He will also count with you when going down the steps to the elementary gym (counted to 6)!

*Fine Motor: Harry will complete 4-piece formboard independently when pieces are put in random order. He will also put magnetic pieces back into a puzzle with hidden doors and correlate the correct item with the door. Ex. Dog goes into the doghouse. The physical therapist reported that Harry makes circle scribbles on the iPad—allowing hand-over-hand and when support was withdrawn, he reached for her hand to help him!

Harry is making wonderful gains and he is a welcome addition to the classroom!

I am just so proud of my little man. He is making leaps and bounds and while we still struggle I know we can get through this.

So I don't seem like I am leaving Ethan out of this wonderful progress. He is starting to talk more and developing a little attitude. I'll say Ethan did you ca ca and he'll proudly say YAA. But he will say YAA to many things but I just think it is so cute. He is also such a ham. He loves hugs and kisses and even will give them to the pets. It looks like he is trying to eat them but it's just that he wants to be loving. A couple of weeks ago for example we were at a snow day with our church and there was this 80 year old woman and Ethan gave me a kiss and then she asked for one to. Ethan gave her a nice big open mouth kiss on the cheek and then at the end of the night when we were getting ready to leave he gave her another one. You could just see that it made her day. I was one proud mama. He is also my little helper. If I ask him to pick something up he will and then he gives it to me.
I am just so lucky to have two wonderful loving boys. I am truly blessed.

give us a break

My birthday was June 9th and do you want to know how i spent it? At the ER with Harry. His foot was double the size of his other foot plus it was warm and the back of his leg was red and warm as well. he didn't want me to touch it so i called the pedi's office and they said to take him in to get checked out. it's a infection they said and sent us home with a antibiotic and said to return if it worsened. it's getting better after a few days on antibiotics thank God.
Now it's Ethans turn for some discomfort. he has the worst diaper rash/yeast infection and i am trying to get rid of it for him and make him feel better. I'd like to avoid a trip to the pedi's office this week if possible. so lots of naked baby time and baths. can't wait till next weekend. i have company coming. that should be a nice break.

seems to be working

today is day 7 of the new med for Harry and day 2 of the increased dose. he seem to be doing better. he sure is listening better and we are having fewer melt downs. i know it's to soon to know the full effect of it but i am beginning to feel less like a bad mommy for putting him on it. one day at a time :)

updates

sorry it's been so long since i last updated. life in our house has been crazy to say the least. So lets start with Harry.


Harry: he has been having lots of challenging behavior. he has been having out bursts of anger and it's directed at Ethan and at times me. He stomps his feet spins in circles, bangs his head on the floor or walls, he's been biting himself, screams and screeches all the time. I know it's going to be a bad day when he wakes up screaming and screeching. I made a appointment with a pediatric behavior doctor 3 hours away a few weeks back and the soonest they could get us in was Aug 17th but they put us on the cancellation list and the next day they called and said there was a opening for June 2nd. WOW. I was scrambling to find a person to trade with at work and thankfully I found someone who was willing. Harry and I left the day before and stayed at a hotel while Ethan stayed with Grandma and Papa. Our appointment went good. Harry is now on a medication to hopefully help control some of his behaviors. Medications were never my first choice but i didn't know what else to do. our insurance does not cover ABA therapy that would help but we are getting on the Wisconsin Autism waver waiting list but that's a 8-12 wait at
least. Harry also had a transition meeting for school. he is supposed to start in Oct after his 3rd birthday. How exciting for him. he was super excited to see his class room.
Recently Harry has been enjoying time outside with Papa playing on the swing and in the sandbox and taking walks with Papa. I think it's wonderful that since his dad is not a active part of his life that Papa can be there for him and i know they both enjoy it.

Ethan: He is now 10 months old and getting into EVERY THING!! It's fun to see him explore his world. I did have a scare with him Memorial day. He woke up happy and playing. but shortly after Harry got up Ethan started throwing up and I called my mom who came over very quickly. When she got here she took him and i told her what was going on more and that he looked purple to me. she said she didn't see what i was seeing but to get Harry ready and we would take Ethan to the ER. I said no I'll DJ (my niece) to come and take care of Harry. After i got DJ to come over my mom said call 911. when they got here Ethan had thrown up at least 6 times and he was now pale and non responsive. we got hooked up in the ambulance and off we went. they gave him oxygen because his stats were low. we had a paramedic intercept half way to the hospital. they attempted to put a IV in and when they poked him he barely squeaked. not my boy. I was so scared. by the time we got the hospital he had come around and after 3 hours in the hospital they sent us home still not knowing what happened but he was better and mostly back to normal.

So life to say the least has been challenging but we just take it one day at a time and at moments when it's real crazy it's one minute at a time. I hope to be better at posting updates on the boys. thanks for those who read.

Ethan first word

Ethan said mama last night. Oh what music to my ears that was to hear. I told Bobby this morning because well it's Ethans first and he cried. i know it's hard for him to miss the firsts. i did get it on video so i sent it to him so he could enjoy it as well. Ethans also trying to crawl. he has the being on his hands and knees down pat just not the moving the knees to crawl. he does more of a bunny hop . that's cute to see to. my baby is growing up way to fast.

Austism Eval update

Harry had a eval for autism on March 1st. it has been determined that he does have autism. not really sure where at on the spectrum he is but may be as time goes one we will learn more. the doctor who did the eval said that he will be putting a team of people together to come to the house 30+ hours a week to work with Harry. They think that maybe this will help him greatly and when harry turns 3 in Oct he will then be going to school. well at least that's the plan for now. a lot can happen in a few short months. I also have a appointment with social security on March 16th to sign harry up for SSI.

Happy Valentines day

Just wanted to say Happy Valentines day. I plan on spending it with 2 of the most special little men in my life, Harry and Ethan, at least they love me unconditionally. tomorrow i plan on getting discounted chocolate and sweet tarts, yummy.

finaIIy updating

Sorry it's taken me so long to update. life has been pretty crazy around here lately.

Harry: he's been going through a lot of things lately. He's been in speech therapy since November and we have found out that he has sensory issues with eating and hearing which explains why it's so hard to get him to eat. It has also been mentioned that Harry is showing signs of Autism. So he has a evaluation on March 1st. They come to the house which is nice. Harry will also be having a evaluation for OT on Feb 17th and he's seeing his pedi and ent on the 15th. It saddens me to see my baby so frustrated . He's been doing some head banging so he now has a helmet which seems to be helping.

Ethan: he's growing like a weed. I can't believe he's going to be 7 months soon. wow has time gone by so fast. He's starting to try and crawl and is babbling more each day. he thinks his brother is funny and laughs at him hysterically. so funny to hear, too.

Other: Mittens is our newest family member. he's a good kitty to. the boys love him and he follows harry around and plays with Ethan on the floor.

Bobby and i are talking and trying to work things out or see if theres even a chance of working things out. we are taking it very slow and it may be several more months before we even move back in with each other.

so i hope you are all doing good. going to post some pics soon as well.

hello all i'm back

forgot to update that i was back on here. i should really do a update but can't right now. i will update on whats been going on in our life soon.

update

life sure is a mess right now. Bobby is being a butt and it looks like our marriage is over with. it's not what i want but it's what he wants. he is super angry at me for leaving and taking the boys but i did what i had to do for me and my babies. i will not be made to feel guilty for that,. i did nothing wrong. he has not seen his boys in 3 weeks but thats not my fault. all i asked was that it be supervised for a few visits and he refussed to do it that way so he has not seen or talked to them. i am going to speak with a lawyer tomorrow and i may have to let him have harry unsupervised even if i don't want it. the boys have finally settled down and adjusted to there new home . we are still at my moms until rental assistance comes through which i hope is soon. i never thought my life would turn out this way. he said he would love me forever and i guess forever is not as long as i thought. it will be our 4 year anniversery this Thursday. i guess marriage means nothing to him. i know i was the one to leave but devorce is not what i wanted only a temperary seperation until we could work things out. oh well i guess lifes that way sometimes.

changes

today is going to be a huge change for the boys and mommy as we move out on our own. we are going to stay with my mom and then hopefully will have a place of our own soon. it's scary to go from a family of 4 to a family of 3 but i know that i am a strong person and can handle this. Plus i have lots of support from friends and family. I'm not so much worried about me but the boys and how they will adjust to not having daddy around. I am hoping they are young enough to not really notice to much, well at least i know Ethan is young enough. So i will be MIA for a while but will update when i am able to. so wish me luck and send tons prayers my way for a safe transition. Rena

i had to do it

i had to spank Harry this morning. I was in the kitchen and he was in the living room. Ethan was in his swing sleeping. I here Ethan screaming and when i walk around the corner from the kitchen Harry is on top of Ethan and Ethan's head is pushed forward. I snatched him off of Ethan and gave him 3 swats on the butt, put him on the couch and picked up Ethan to make sure he was ok. Once i was sure he was ok i went back to Harry and told him mommy love's him but he can not do that. He needs to be gentle with Ethan. I'm not sure what he understands but he can't do that. He hasn't messed with him since we first brought Ethan home. I felt like a bad mommy but i don't know how else to get him to stop. I don't like spanking but what other chooses do i have. any one reading this who has a suggestion i'd appreciate it greatly. I did take Harry to McDonald's and to the park thinking that maybe he was feeling neglected by me. I had to bring Ethan with but I don't think Harry minded since he had mommy. I guess thats the end of this post. thanks for reading. Rena

can i just say

I LOVE being a mom. I feel so needed and loved, by my boys at least. I strive every day to let them know and to show them that i love them with all my heart.

i'm so bad

i was reading something and all i could think was here's your sign. Ever think some one does something so stupid that you want to hand them a sign? Well maybe they learned there lesson and wont be so stupid next time. I know that's bad of me to think and say but it is what it is.

I'm a failure

Well at least i feel like one. I was not able to breast feed my baby. I did give him 3 weeks of mommy milk but then when all his pain and crying started, i thought i was the cause of his pain. May be something i was eating was causing it, so i stopped pumping and giving him what i pumped. While it was not a lot of milk i was getting out he was at least getting some of milk. So i failed him.

Colic sucks

Poor Baby Ethan has colic along with gas issues. It just breaks my heart to hear him cry in such pain. Last night was the worst night for him and I am hoping and praying that, that is the only night we have like that. I took him to the pedi because I had no idea what was wrong with him. His pedi is a wonderful woman and gave me some suggestions I can use to comfort him. She gave him a full look over and the only thing she found wrong with him was his belly button is infected. I still wonder if that could be the cause of some of his pain. We go back next week for a well baby check up and I am hoping it's much better. My mom took Harry home with her so Ethan and I could rest and relax. Can I just say I love my mommy. She is a wonderful grandma and mom.

If i had to choose

Since i don't have many readers i thought it would be safe to post this in my blog.If i ever had to choose between my babies or my husband i would choose my babies. Why because they need me. Things have changed between my hubby and i. We seem to be fighting more often again and he makes me feel guilty for protecting my babies. I hate to see them get hurt so i am always telling Harry to be careful, watch what you are doing, don't do that. I would think any mother would do the same to protect her little ones. I know they have to make mistakes and some times get hurt but they are so little i want to protect them. I hope the changes between hubby and i are just a adjustment stage. I guess only time will tell. sorry if this is just a ramble.

Baby Ethan

Baby Ethan is 4 days old today and i thought i'd share some pics of him and we can't forget big brother Harry.

baby time

Amnio results show a baby with developed lungs. so Thursday morning at 7am i will start my induction. I am already 1cm dilated so i only have 9 to go right:o) Positive thinking is the way to go. My mom took Harry home with her and will care for him till we come home. Can i just say I love my mom so much. she's just been so wonderful this whole pregnancy. taking me to my appointments and sitting with me during my amnio. just knowing she was there helped me greatly. And all of my wonderful friends who have so supportive mean so much to me as well. I just know there is a special place in Heaven for them. So the next time i update this blog i hope to have pics of the newest addition to our family. Any prayers that you want or can spare would be great.